Viv in gym outfit
What is it like to be unretired? Well, unretired is what you are when, having retired and deciding you didn’t like it, you returned to part-time or occasional work.
I don’t like the word ‘retirement’, probably because I never liked the word ‘work’. Is cleaning house only work if you are paid for it? If you retire, does this mean you stop cleaning your house? Well, apart from removing these terms from the dictionary, I don’t have the answer but I do have experience of being ‘unretired’, as I describe below.
WHY I RETIRED
When my kids were little, as a single parent my time was spent earning as much money as possible through employment, studying at night, looking after my young kids (with help from a whole range of childcare services), shopping and running the house. Yes, it was exhausting, but I was young, energetic, and I did what I thought was best for my family. Rather than defining myself as a workhorse, I was just an ambitious person with a very active life. At that time, providing for my children and making a good home for them were huge drivers.
As the kids grew up and left home, those drivers diminished, but I remained very work focused. I always knew I would retire someday but I never thought about what I would actually do. If you have read the about section of my website, you will know that my retirement was triggered by a house move to a rural village and a sick old dog. I was ready financially, but I must have also harboured a fantasy of idle contentedness – like those stereotypical photos of retired people on a cruise - because It never occurred to me to plan anything.
I have written before about my unexpected feelings of loss and sadness and the need to rediscover myself after years of reverting to my default work drive. Well, it’s taken a few years, but I think I am finally on the right path for me. I have listed below some of my unretirement goals, and where I am currently in my efforts to achieve them.
GOALS AND ACHIEVEMENTS SO FAR
To stay healthy
I attend fun gym classes three times a week. I limit my alcohol intake and cook healthy meals, with a preference for vegetarian. I acknowledge my sugar addiction and try to manage it reasonably.
To maintain and develop meaningful relationships
I am lucky to have satisfying, positive relationships with family and old friends. I am happiest when cooking for and feeding them. On the other hand, having lived in three countries and moved a number of times, I have found making and keeping new friends more challenging than I expected. I am mystified by the dynamics of friendship – we are all so complex – but have come to accept that, apart from a very special few, friends will come and go (but I always grieve when they go).
To maintain a positive outlook
I have always been an optimist, but retirement threatened my mental health. I experienced a certain loss of identity, and the sinking feeling that I was losing my mental acuity, but the main reason was that free thinking time somehow brought to the surface memories of wounds from the past I had kept buried. I suppose there is nothing wrong with finally facing unresolved issues, but not all at once! The life I am now carving out for myself allows time for reflection but is also filled with a variety of activities and experiences that keep me focused on the present and future rather than the past, as well as on other people, rather than just myself.
To keep learning and feeding my curiosity
My Silver Startups project along with my fee earning, pro bono and volunteer activities have obliged me to continue learning and applying new skills and knowledge. I like being paid for some of the things I do because it reminds me that my skills have a financial value, even though earning money is not my priority. Of course, learning new IT and social media skills can be rather painful, but as they say, no pain no gain.
To never be too comfortable
I have learnt that one’s circumstances in life can change quickly. I am also keenly aware of my own privileged situation. I want to be able to help others and to do so, I must keep myself financially, intellectually, physically and emotionally fit. This will always be a work in progress. I do what I can, knowing it will never be quite enough.
To strengthen my spirituality
This really isn’t linked to being unretired, but it is linked to successful ageing. I know that my health will eventually deteriorate, and life will continue to present trials in many forms. My spiritual side has helped me in the past during challenging times and now, perhaps in recognition of the transience of everything in my life, I feel the need to nurture my spirituality. Another work in progress.
So, this is the current state of my unretirement. And what about you? Are you unretired? What’s it like for you?
It would be fantastic if you shared your experiences in the comments section below, and signed up to the mailing list* too 😊.
Best wishes
Viv
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