There are times when normally self-assured people can lose their confidence. Attractive, educated, excellent CV – what more do they want?
Nailed it!
They want jobs.
They have been made redundant and despite countless attempts, they can’t find employment. They aren’t sure they are capable of setting up and running their own business but decide to try because they need to earn an income. They often continue jobhunting at the same time.
At first they don’t admit or even realise that ageism is part (or all) of the problem, but after awhile they accept that the reasons they have been given for not getting the interview or the job, or lack of response when they try to find out, are often just ageism in disguise.
Personally, I have never understood how people feel secure in any job. I never felt secure, and before having my own business, I worked in very safe sectors - further and higher education - because I was a single parent and couldn’t afford to take any risks. Back to that in a moment.
You? Lack Confidence? Never!
Throughout my career setting up and running training businesses, and then running my own business consultancy, people would ask me what I felt were my strengths and weaknesses. One weakness I would admit to, particularly when I was out of my comfort zone (which was a lot), was a lack of self-confidence, but they would just laugh. They would not believe me.
I guess I must have been good at hiding my self-doubt and lucky that this didn’t affect my work. I didn’t try to hide it, it was just not apparent to others, probably because I was always so enthusiastic about my projects that no one noticed. I also worked longer hours than most to avoid criticism and ensure my targets were met or exceeded.
But I was never made redundant, and over time, my confidence grew. By the age of 50 I was already running my own business, so I never experienced the feeling of rejection and loss that some of my clients have felt. After years of succeeding in their careers only to find themselves ‘unemployable’ despite months or years of jobhunting, they are often traumatised, and suffer loss of self-esteem and confidence as a result.
They lose sight of their own talents and strengths.
As I mentioned before, I never felt secure in employment. I saw too many things wrong with office politics and corporate culture. I knew that it was better for me to prepare than to just walk out in exasperation, so I carefully planned my exit and, when the time was right (ie I just couldn’t take it anymore!), handed in my notice.
Business coaching and confidence building
As a business coach, I find that an important part of what I do is help clients who are starting up for the first time, to regain their self-confidence. I can do this for a number of reasons:
Over time, they trust me and my judgement.
I’m not a friend, colleague or member of the family, so I can be objective.
I am good at spotting and pointing out individual strengths, and how they can be applied to setting up their business.
At the end of every coaching session, we agree on actions that need to be taken before the next one, but I don’t browbeat my clients because the motivation must come from them. You need to be self-motivated if you want to succeed, but you also need to make the right decision about what you want to do, and I help them make this decision. Loving what you do is a great motivator.
Slowly, as actions are completed and progress is made, their confidence grows, although I’m not sure anyone is ever totally confident. Success in business requires you to adapt, make changes and sometimes take risks, but the more you succeed, the more you believe that you can.
I know I have succeeded when they don’t really need me anymore ☹.
Benefits of Having a Coach
If you are setting up a business and are considering using a coach to help you get started, it’s best to choose one who has entrepreneurial experience and who has helped other startups. Just because someone has been successful at starting and growing a business doesn’t mean they are good at enabling others to do the same.
I searched online for articles on the benefits of coaching and here are a few excerpts:
According to The Alternative Board’s most recent 2018 Business Pulse Survey, 86.3% of entrepreneurs have seen a positive impact on their business from business coaching [1].
Business coaches are great accountability partners to help ensure you're learning, growing and evolving [2].
A small business coach can help you develop your business plan before launch, keep your ducks in order when you’re starting up, or refine your business practices once you’ve set up shop [3].
If you want or need to start up a business or become self-employed, but you don’t have the confidence to get going, why not consider using a business coach?
Any questions? Please email me at viv@silverstartups.co.uk or leave a comment below.
Best wishes
Viv
[1] https://www.thealternativeboard.co.uk/entrepreneurs-choose-business-coaches-new-small-business-owner-survey/
[2] Brittany Hodak https://www.forbes.com/sites/theyec/2020/10/09/10-great-reasons-to-hire-a-business-coach-for-yourself/?sh=1d6a89e7599a